Howard Aggregate’s Late Preview #4

Every day hundreds of thousands of CD’s from budding acts all over the world are thrust through the Resonance letter box. The senders hope that their songs, shanties, dirges, operas, poems, recordings of supposedly secret telephone conversations between the Vatican and the talking monkeys of Hunan Province – plus the usual death threats – will be given an airing. They will be, but not necessarily in the way they hope, thanks to self-styled mega-mobilists the Haboob Brothers. Tonight they will be broadcasting the sound of their latest mega-mobile, made of these millions of plastic roundels, as it hangs twenty-five miles above the Libyan Sahara denying sunlight to a broad swathe of humanity from Cairo to Kohlkatta. Transmission will end at around 4am GMT when the mobile is scheduled to be destroyed by the first demonstration of the US military’s Star Wars programme. Check out the webcam at disco_inferno/pentagon. gov

Unlike other programmes recalling the death of the dramatist ten years ago, Wednesday morning’s I Knew Sarah Kane has no relevance to the short life of the writer of Blasted and Psychosis 4:48. Instead it interviews other people called Sarah Kane, almost all of whom have no connection with the theatre. This week presenter Charles Foster meets a former Supasnaps manager who talks of spending her redundancy on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday in Corfu. In another intriguing twist, Sarah reveals that she changed her mind at the last minute and stayed at home eating 240 tins of short-dated bacon and mushroom toast toppers.

Continuing its run on Wednesday is Minou Elastoplast’s Make Your Own Damn Heart Bypass. This week, listen to part 4 of Minou’s live on-air auto-op performed entirely with chopsticks and a brillo pad. See radiographs of her post-op aorta at minousmediporn/nhs.org. There’ll also be an interview with Randy, the first racoon to graduate from Guy’s Teaching Hospital.

Ground Floor Telephones, Gents Ready Made Suits, Shirts, Socks, Ties, Hats, Underwear and Shoes, Going Up, bills itself as ‘eBay for the airwaves’ (or would do if the title didn’t take up so much space on the web listings). Broadcast live from Petticoat Lane, it’s presented by former department store employees, all of whom have been sacked for pilfering and then ridiculed by appeals tribunals for the crapness of their pilfered items. Forget iPods, Duchamp ties and Lulu Guinness bags. Tune in on Friday for a chance to purchase: Moldovan cologne in 25 litre jerry cans, mis-spelled Valentine’s Day stationary in various shades of brown, and non-matching nylon socks (three for the price of two).

The Resonance On-air Dictionary Of Pretentious Art Events (RODOPAE) has reached the letter F. And as we all know F is for Fake, but this Monday’s featured show was – as public health records attest – all too genuine. In July 1998, following a multi-million pound conversion from a sugar refinery into an art gallery, Tate East Anglia opened with the controversial, ‘The Flowers are Farting: Power Spreads like Diahrroea.’ Soon after this notorious display of mechanically retrieved pig’s intestines, animated with vacuum cleaners and dressed in suede tabards to resemble bankers of 15th Century Ipswich, TEA closed for good. RODOPAE talks to the curator, the artist, and the ratcatchers.

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